I never knew about the “fourth trimester” until I was living it with my first son Levi. It was like a lightbulb moment went off, “Ah, so it’s okay if this isn’t a cakewalk.” At the time, I had very few friends with babies, so I worked on building a circle of women in my same season of life. Which is one reason why I started this blog – to share some of the honest realities of prenatal care and postpartum life.
The first 3 months after your baby is born isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. You’re a new mom, living a new life, with raging hormones, navigating a lot of unknowns. It’s also hard for your newborn baby who is used to that warm, quiet, squishy life on the inside.
Looking back, Levi had some very challenging moments as a newborn. I was in such newborn heaven that I didn’t realize it. But now that I have Declan, who is seriously the easiest baby (PTL!), the comparison has blown my mind.
I remember Matt would come home from work during Levi’s fussy time (a.k.a. the witching hour) and I would just want a break from holding the baby all day long. Matt would scoop him up and he’d just cry and cry. Levi only wanted me and that was hard for both of us in those early weeks. My husband became an expert swaddler and soother, learning Levi’s likes and dislikes so he could comfort him.
Once we learned how to help Levi adjust to life on the outside of the womb, the fourth trimester was so much easier.
So I’ve compiled a list of things that can help babies and mamas tackle the fourth trimester together:
- Placenta encapsulation. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – “eating my placenta” was the best thing I did. I had my placenta encapsulated into pill form and popped those suckers daily, which are full of nutrients and hormones. When your hormone levels drop after baby is born, you may experience postpartum depression or the “baby blues” (which is very normal, 70-80% of women experience the blues). But that magical organ you just grew for nine months can help! Most women who consume their placenta reported experiencing some or all of these benefits: better mood, quicker healing, increased energy, decreased sadness, decreased bleeding, increased milk supply, and decreased insomnia. More about placenta encapsulation here.
- Practice “the 5 S’s” to soothe baby – swaddling, side or stomach position, shushing (white noise), swaying motion, swinging, and sucking. More on that here.
- Get lactation support. If your nipples are in a lot of pain, bleeding, cracking, or baby isn’t pooping or gaining weight, reach out to a certified lactation consultant ASAP. Don’t wait to do this. A LC can also help if you’re worried baby isn’t “getting enough” or just don’t know what the heck you’re doing.
- Skin to skin. Research has shown this is so beneficial for both mom and baby, even after the fourth trimester. Snuggle dat baby up!
- Nap when your baby naps. This was hard for me because my post-delivery adrenaline was through the roof! Get a sleep mask, close the curtains, and force yourself to sleep. If you slept 4 hours at night, try to nap for 3-4 hours throughout the day. Lack of sleep has shown to play a huge role in postpartum emotions.
- Nourish your body. Eat healthy and hydrate like a boss. Duh. And practice daily stretching, yoga, or light exercise.
- Get outside. Nature feeds the soul. Stop and listen to the birds sing and the trees blow. Put your phone down. Walks outside would immediately soothe Levi. If I had to rush outside in my bathrobe, I did it. Anything to stop a crying baby.
- Wear your baby. I didn’t do this enough with Levi and I should have. Baby wearing helps them feel your warmth and hear your heartbeat. It’ll free up your hands too!
- Schedule visits with friends. Even during COVID-19, I scheduled friend dates for my mental health. I only invited friends over who had been quarantining and we social distanced. I needed this.
- Ask for help. When friends or family reach out and say, “Let me know how I can help!” Let. Them. Know. Ask a friend to start a meal train, or come over to fold laundry. Anything.
- Don’t be superwoman. The “bounce-back culture” we’re living in right now with social media is maddening. Postpartum recovery isn’t a competition. Be kind to your body and your emotions.
- Return the love. Step up mamas! Reach out to a new mom and let her know you’re there for her. Give her a call, don’t just text. Show up and support her. ❤️
Don’t compare your postpartum journey to anyone else’s — remember social media is a highlight reel showcasing the pretty parts. We are all different and have vastly different babies. Some babies are easy, some babies are hard. Some mamas have no postpartum issues, others struggle. One thing remains, we’re all wearing diapers with spit up in our hair. If the only thing you’ve done today is put food in your mouth and stayed hydrated, You. Are. Doing. GREAT.