It’s hard to believe I’m here sharing another birth story with you, one that is so different from my others, but aren’t they all? That’s the beauty of it – our babies write their own birth stories.
Our third son, Dane Perry Stubbs, was born the morning of February 3, 2022, 11 days past his due date and that was the hardest part of it all. Going past your due date is an exhausting mind game, and in the Sunshine State it’s even more challenging because – news flash – it’s Florida law that if you don’t go into labor by 42 weeks, you have to go to the hospital to be induced. And if you’re planning to have a home birth… That. Is. Crushing. News.
I know a lot of women read that and think, you’re crazy for voluntarily going so late. But I’ve always believed in letting my babies arrive when they’re ready, of course, if we’re both healthy. And that’s the standard in home birthing midwifery care – there’s no medical induction option (but the midwives know all the crunchy natural induction methods if you want to go that route).
As my due date approached I tried to embrace this time to slow down and soak up my kids, Levi 3 years old, and Declan 19 months.
I was doing all the things to prepare my body for labor starting around 34-36 weeks – curb walks, weekly Webster-certified chiropractor adjustments, drinking NORA tea, prenatal massage, 100 squats daily, Spinning Babies stretches, etc. (You can read my blog here on preparing your body for labor.) Around 38 weeks, our postpartum doula came to help with our big boys. I was so grateful for her to start late in my pregnancy. I’ve never hired a PP doula but now that I’ve had 3 babies in 3 years, it was time for mama to get some help. (She’s still with us today and has been the biggest blessing to our family!!)
The day before I hit 40 weeks, I drank the “midwives cocktail” to try and induce labor naturally (at the guidance of my midwife). If your baby is ready, it’s known to bring on labor within 48 hours of consuming. The drink includes a little castor oil, almond butter, lemon verbena tea, and apricot juice. It took me 45 minutes to drink it and I’ll never look at almond butter the same. Yuck. My contractions definitely kicked in that day and it was exhausting. I managed to stay busy but when I slowed down the contractions did too and that’s when I knew it wasn’t real labor.
I didn’t like the feeling AT ALL of doing something to bring on (false) labor realizing that my baby wasn’t ready to be born, even if it was a natural induction method. And in actuality, Dane wasn’t going to make his debut until almost two weeks later! Remember, your “due date” is just an estimate. Baby Dane just wasn’t ready and I’m so glad I remained patient to let him come on his own. (You can read my blog here about why medical induction increases your chance of having a C-section. The U.S. has one of the highest C-section rates in the world – 1 in 3 women receive one.)
I filled the following week with activities and appointments to keep my mind and body occupied. At 41 weeks I had to get a biophysical ultrasound to ensure baby was all good (this is another law in Florida when you hit week 41). The last time we saw our baby was at the 20-week ultrasound since I prefer limited ultrasounds in pregnancy. And oh my goodness, it was such a beautiful moment to get to see our boy full term. We learned he had long hair that flowed around like spaghetti noodles. My fluid looked great and he was in perfect position for birth. I felt such a huge weight lift off after that appointment.
The ultrasound tech (who is very experienced) estimated his weight to be about 7.4 pounds. He was born a few days later weighing 8.7 pounds. *Mamas, be mindful if you’re told your baby is measuring too big and induction is needed that these numbers can be way off. Sigh.
The next morning (a Tuesday) I went in for my 41-week appointment and I’ll forever be grateful to my midwife Cynda. I listed all of the things I was doing to get the baby out (100 squats daily, Spinning Babies, the Miles Circuit, curb walks, etc.) She then told me to go home and take the rest of the day to *enjoy* my children and take a nap. It brought tears to my eyes. She wanted to clear my mind and rest my body.
During the appointment, I also assumed she would prepare me with all of the details on checking into the hospital that Sunday if my labor didn’t kick in… details on delivering with a doctor I didn’t know, what medical induction looks like, etc. But she did not. Again, I am so grateful. I left knowing that she didn’t want to add any more pressure or anxiety to my plate. We were operating on a one-day-at-a-time basis. She scheduled me to come back and see her in two days.
So I went home, got down eye-to-eye with my kids, and laughed and played with them, just what I needed.
The next day I scheduled acupuncture for the second time. This is one of the top natural induction methods and it’s highly suggested you see an acupuncturist who has experience with pregnant women. My doula Bonnie told me to tell the acupuncturist to “hit allll the induction pressure points.” And he did. So many little needles. Whew.
When I got home around sunset I hopped in the hot (warm) tub with my husband and kids and relaxed. Matt took the boys inside for dinner and I stayed in for 2 hours. I didn’t want to get out. But when I did, I lost my mucus plug. I was shocked. This had never happened to me before! I finally had a clear sign that labor was coming soon. I went to bed at ease that night.
Around 5 a.m. the next morning (Thursday) contractions kicked in. Around 6 a.m. I got out of bed and went outside to swing and watch the sunrise. Then I attempted to take a bath, but my body was like, “nahhh, girl, you need to keep moving.” Around 7 a.m. I woke Matt up and said I think I’m in labor. I was still in disbelief. He told me to call my birth team since my contractions were coming on pretty fast at this point. My midwife Erika and doula Bonnie both said they were on their way.
By 8:45 a.m. everyone had arrived, including the midwife’s birth assistant and my birth photographer. I was now in active labor, moaning loudly and in the zone. Matt helped me work through the contractions before my doula got there. I was experiencing “front labor” for the first time (I had back labor with my other two). So I asked Matt to lift my belly up as each contraction came on and it brought me so much relief. (Not sure if this is odd, but I think I prefer back labor over front labor!)
As everyone quietly got to their jobs, my mom arrived with “birth bags” she sewed for Levi and Declan filled with treats and toys. The boys popped in and out of my bedroom giving me kisses and hugs. I was so happy they were with me. My hope was to always go into labor during the day so they could be there.
As my contractions came on, Declan didn’t want to leave my side. He gave me a few odd/inquisitive looks, and kept offering me his slobbery lollipop – a gesture I truly appreciated because lollipop licks to a toddler are sacred. Levi watched on with ease, as if he remembered being at Declan’s birth, although he was only 21 months old at the time. He wasn’t scared and he didn’t question this chaotic scene in our home. He happily welcomed it.
My husband opened the French doors in our bedroom and the breeze off of the St. Lucie River was everything. As my bedroom curtains blew in the wind, I looked out at the water and couldn’t believe how idyllic this scene was. The morning sun was glowing on the river and I could hear the birds chirping. I was laboring in my dream setting.
Contractions were coming on fast and very intense. My doula Bonnie kept me moving and coaching me through each wave, saying things like, “breathe him down, relax your bottom, don’t clinch up, allow him to come down, your baby is coming.” As she spoke her words to me I did everything she asked. These were the words I needed to hear.
Since I tested positive for GBS, it was time to get the antibiotics, which meant I had to dreadfully sit still while the drugs were administered. And once again, as with my last two births, the IV infiltrated in both arms. I was able to get most of the antibiotics in my right arm as it started swelling. This took about 20 minutes.
Since I was sitting for so long, my doula urged me next to squat down with one foot up on a stool while I worked through my following contractions. I didn’t want to but I knew this was the same move that always sends me into transition with each labor.
My water still hadn’t broken, which was another first for me. My labors previously have started with my water breaking first. So I asked my midwife to talk to me about breaking my water. She later said she knew by my moans that she didn’t need to break my water because the baby was coming very soon. Instead she told me to squat a few more times and then “we’d talk about it.”
I think I squatted only 2 or 3 times before he was HERE. The wildest part is that I didn’t even feel him come down the birth canal, he was just THERE. My water broke as I yelled “HE’S HERE!” and flooded the chux pads underneath me as my midwife Erika caught baby Dane in some extraordinary ninja move while my right foot was still up on the stool. She later joked that’s why she works out.
Erika brought Dane up to my arms immediately and guided me to my bed to lie down. It was my fastest and most intense labor yet, with active labor lasting less than two hours.
My birth team warned me before that the third baby tends to be the “wild card” meaning that women who have had relatively easy/short labors before tend to have longer/harder labors with their third. I like to think that Dane made his birth his own form of wild – fast and intense.
My mom and my mother-in-law came in from the playroom with Levi and Declan as soon as they heard “he’s here!” We all celebrated together while Dane received endless hugs and kisses from his big brothers. I then delivered my placenta and my doula took it home with her to encapsulate into my beloved placenta pills (a.k.a. mommy crack).
Dane was my biggest baby yet – 8.7 pounds. We were all shocked. And thankfully I had no tearing. He cozied up on my chest and latched on quickly. As with my last home birth, my desired post-birth meal was a veggie burger and fries from Burger King (don’t judge haha). My mother-in-law ran up to BK and grabbed lunch for the whole team.
My dad later joined, and we all took photos together so I can always remember how beautiful of a family experience birthing at home has been for me.
About 2.5 hours after Dane’s arrival, the birth team left us to bond. My room was cleaned up perfectly, my dirty sheets and the mattress protector were removed, and with my clean sheets underneath, my husband, Dane and I relaxed in bed. The big boys went down for a nap, too, and my house was quiet again.
Another home birth that ended with a healthy baby and a healthy mom.
As I’ve always said, this is my birth experience and it doesn’t mean that it’s the right way for everyone, or that it’s better than yours. This is the birth experience that brings me the most comfort and I’m so glad you came here to read my story. I hope I’ve normalized home birthing for you. Please pass my story on to someone who needs to read about the beauty of birth, it doesn’t have to be scary. Happy birthing, mamas.
xoxo,
Lydia
