I’ve wanted to share this joyous story more widely since the day it happened on August 24, 2018, and I’m so happy to finally hit publish.
*But before I do, one caveat: I birthed at one of the more conservative hospitals in Dallas. They were quick to push induction (Pitocin), I wasn’t allowed to eat while in labor, my nurses didn’t know how to work the wireless baby monitor, and at times I felt unsupported in my birth plan. But it was still the best experience of my life. 😍
My son Levi arrived eight days past my due date and I was content letting him make his entrance on his own time – after all, this date is really just an estimate. I was planning for an unmedicated birth with no interventions, so allowing my body to go into labor naturally was my goal.
That summer, my husband Matt and I moved into our first home when I was 32 weeks pregnant. We had a lot going on and moving was actually a nice distraction. I didn’t finish the nursery until just after Levi was born, and having something, err, a lot of things, to keep my mind busy in the final weeks of pregnancy was very welcoming.
I went into labor around midnight on August 23. I was watching TV and bouncing on my birth ball when I stopped to go pee, and the floodgates opened. My water broke and I immediately knew there was meconium in the amniotic fluid (which meant baby pooped in the fluid and medical staff would need to ensure he didn’t breathe in the fluid upon delivery). I called my doula who advised me to call the OB/GYN on call. The on-call doctor was very calming and reassuring. She said it’s common for moms who go past their due date to have meconium in the fluid, but we needed to slowly make our way to the hospital.
So we packed up the car and got to the hospital around 1 a.m. As we walked in, my water continued gushing everywhere in the parking garage. A nurse walking out yelled, “Don’t worry honey, wrap that towel around you and waddle on in here!” I couldn’t stop laughing at this point.
Once we were settled in our room, I started to worry that I wasn’t contracting. My cervical dilatation was at a 3 and my night nurse immediately told me that if I didn’t progress enough by 6 a.m., “the doctor will want to induce you with Pitocin.” This was my biggest fear in that moment.
I knew if I was given Pitocin my labor would immediately get MUCH harder. Pitocin, essentially, causes your body to create artificial contractions to speed up labor, which can also cause stress on the baby and create more pain and longer contractions for mom. It often leads to getting an epidural to handle the intense pain, which increases the chance of C-section, plus, longer labor, and possible compromise of baby’s heart rate and blood supply. This cocktail of drugs is referred to as the “cascade of interventions,” and I wanted to try my hardest to avoid it altogether.
My ultimate fear was ending up with a medically unnecessary C-section, and after all of my research, being induced + getting an epidural would increase my chances of having a C-section. (Did you know that the U.S. has one of the highest C-section rates in the world? One in three women end up having one. This is also a factor in why we have one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the developed world. And I don’t share this to scare you, but to shed light on facts that a lot of doctors don’t break down upfront.)
My greatest hope was to birth my baby on my own terms, knowing I had done everything to prepare my mind and body for an unmedicated birth, and that I was a healthy mom with a healthy baby. So I called my doula and she told me I needed to get to work to kick-start my contractions on my own. She told me to start walking and to get out my breast pump to stimulate my nipples. Pumping often helps labor begin naturally, and it sure did. Whew. My contractions came on fast. Around 3 a.m. labor was getting pretty intense.
I told my nurse I needed the wireless baby monitor ASAP so I could move freely around the room instead of lying in the bed strapped to the wired monitor. Moving helps you work through the contractions versus staying stagnant in bed. Unfortunately, she didn’t know how to put the wireless monitor on my belly. It took 3 nurses to figure it out. I later learned only 15-percent of moms at this hospital deliver unmedicated, and was told it’s usually because they ask for the epidural too late. I already felt like I was foreign concept to the nurses.
As the hours passed, I was trying my hardest to work through the contractions but I was getting very tired. And sadly I felt unsupported by my night nurse. That’s when we called our doula and told her we were ready for her. Becky arrived around 6 a.m. and it was like an angel appeared. She cheered me on, supported me, and believed in me. And she made me WORK HARD to get that baby out.
She got me up moving and we started doing all of the labor positions we had practiced. My favorite position to work through a contraction was sitting backward on the toilet with my head on a pillow while she applied intense pressure to my lower back. She and Matt would take turns applying the pressure, which brought me So. Much. Relief. I wanted to sit on that toilet forever.
While the contractions came, I kept repeating my favorite affirmation in my head, “If my mom can do this, I can do this.” My mom was the only influence I had going into my birth since she delivered me and my two brothers unmedicated. So I pressed on, reminding myself that I’m as strong as my mom.
At 6 a.m., the new shift doctor came in and wanted to check my cervical dilation. I knew I was “on the clock” at this point and he was going to want that baby out ASAP. But I wanted to stay focused on my labor so I denied the dilation check because I knew I was progressing. Thankfully, I was in the bathroom so he didn’t make me come out. (Dilation can be a head game. You can go from nothing to “hello, baby” in no time. Checking your dilation often can make a woman feel discouraged with her progress.)
Throughout the morning, Becky and I kept on working and moving positions. She made me do lunges with one foot on a stool, while leaning over the hospital bed…and I wanted to kill her. But this is the position that moved me into glorious transition – the final stage of labor right before baby arrives. I remember yelling, “I feel like I’m going to poop him out!” And she said, “Yep, he’s coming, you’re in transition!” I can’t explain how incredible it was to actually feel my baby make his way down the birth canal. I was completely aware of what my body was doing. It brought me so much peace and gave me a major adrenaline rush to keep going.
My new shift nurse Emily came in (who I immediately fell in love with earlier that morning) and checked my dilation and said, “We’re about to have a baby, let’s call in the doctor!”
Side note: A few weeks prior to my delivery I began to feel very unsupported in my birth plan by my doctor. I was too nervous to leave the practice so late in my pregnancy so I stayed with her. For example, at my 40-week appointment, she said, “So how about we schedule your induction for tomorrow?” If only you could’ve seen my face; it was as though she hadn’t listened to me this entire time and flushed my birth plan down the toilet.
After explaining that’s not what I wanted, that I wanted to go to 42 weeks if needed, she said, “Well you’re not like my other moms. They typically want to schedule their inductions or their C-sections on a night I’m working.” I later learned she had a very high C-section rate. (She ended up leaving the practice and the field altogether a few months later.)
And then my other angel appeared, Dr. Blewett. Earlier in my pregnancy, I had to rotate between all five doctors in the practice so I could get to know them in case they were on call when I went into labor (this is common practice). I vibed the most with Dr. Blewett and her genuine support of my birth plan. I also asked her if she had a doula referral and she recommended my girl Becky Hines.
And although Dr. Blewett wasn’t on call that morning, she heard I was in labor and pushed her appointments to make it for my delivery. I could’ve cried. She let me deliver on “all fours” just like I wanted (supporting myself on my hands and knees, rather than on my back). Gravity is really in your favor with this position to help the baby move down the birth canal!
With my birth team by my side, I started pushing. I was so focused and excited that I was actually smiling! I felt like I was floating on cloud nine knowing I was about to meet my boy and that the hardest part was behind me. I remember turning around and seeing a crowd of people in the room. Because there was meconium in my fluid, it’s hospital protocol for the NICU team to be there in case the baby inhales the poopy fluid. And these kind humans cheered me on, too. I could hear them clapping, saying things like, “You can do it!” It was the most appreciated feeling of support.
Twenty minutes later, after pushing through that oh-so-powerful “ring of fire,” I met my baby boy at 10:22 a.m., which also happened to be my husband’s birthday. I absolutely love that Levi waited to be born on his daddy’s birthday. He weighed 6 lbs., 7 oz. and also gave me a nice second-degree tear while coming out. (Which my doctor said is normal for a first-time mom, but dang the stitching hurt! Thankfully, I had my baby in my arms to distract me.)
As we looked at Levi, Matt cried and I smiled in disbelief that my body just did that. Then Matt said words I will never forget, “I knew you were the most beautiful woman, I knew you were the smartest woman, but I had no idea you were the strongest woman.” I replay this moment in my head all the time. It was so raw and loving.
Another cherished moment was with my nurse Emily. It was her last day working as a labor and delivery nurse – she was moving into out-of-hospital midwifery care. As she was cleaning up the gory aftermath, she said, “Thank you for giving me the best natural birth to go out on.” She went on to tell me that it’s not a common sight for them to see at her hospital, especially on all four hands and knees. 🤣 I couldn’t stop blushing and appreciated hearing the sentiment more than she’ll ever know.
Moments after my delivery, even many weeks after, I experienced a complete natural high. This is something you hear about when researching unmediated births, and the feeling does not disappoint. I can’t really explain it, but it’s just a feeling of absolute euphoria. And then a few days later, I started taking my placenta encapsulation pills, and the natural high continued! This may be too crunchy for some people, but I can’t rave enough about the benefits I experienced from “eating my placenta.” (Perhaps another blog post to come on my postpartum recovery essentials and remedies?)
So the question I’m always asked, like most moms, is, “How long were you in labor for?” From the moment I felt that first contraction, I labored for eight hours and pushed for 20 minutes. My doula said for a first-time mom, that’s very short. On average, active labor can last 12-24 hours for a first-time mom. I was just so glad it was over and my biggest reward was sleeping on my chest. I was also grateful to be able to get up and walk to the bathroom 30 minutes after delivery.
I want to end by saying that I worked really hard preparing my mind and body for this birth. Not only did I research labor and delivery like I was about to take the SATs, but I physically put in the work. I did barre classes until the very end; in my final weeks, I did 100 squats a night (over the course of an hour while watching TV, I’m not crazy); I “curb walked” each day in the August heat; I saw a Webster-certified chiropractor each week in my third trimester; I ate the dates daily and drank the red raspberry leaf tea; inserted borage oil capsules vaginally to “ripen my cervix,” and the list goes on…
I did the homework and listened to all the suggestions my doula recommended for a short unmedicated labor, and I really think putting the work in on the frontend helped me achieve my ideal labor. I will forever be amazed by what a woman’s body can do, what our bodies were made to do without modern medical intervention. I tried my hardest to not fear birth; I removed all the negative stigmas American society conditions us to think about when it comes to birth, and I just trusted my body.
I want you to know that you are a badass superwoman no matter how you birth your baby. You are strong, you are brave, you are the ultimate mama bear. Want an epidural? Awesome, go for it! Want to birth under the stars in your backyard? Cool, you do you, mama! Did you end with a C-section? You are amazing and inspiring! This is just my story and it doesn’t mean that it is better than yours. AT ALL. It’s just my experience that I’m so grateful you came here to read, and maybe it has sparked something in you that you want to share it with your expecting friend, sister, or co-worker. Let’s support women to not fear birth, but instead to tackle it with knowledge and confidence in our bodies.
(Stay posted for a “preparing your body and mind for an unmedicated birth” blog, highlighting in detail what I did to get ready for my first birth experience.)